Dreams

Losing a partner is hard, but what makes it harder is when you have children too.
When Steve died, our four children needed support, They were young between 8 and 15 and missing their father very much.  That help fell to me even though I was grieving too.
I managed to get some bereavement counselling for them and sadly forgot to look after myself. 
As time went by, I grew lonely but seeing my children start to look to the future, with college, senior school.... it was wonderful to hear laughter and the light in their eyes.
I carried on as best I could, supporting them, smiling and laughing, praising their successes and listening to the worries …. as any parent would do. Normality was very important to me.
There were good days as well as bad one, but I carried on along life`s road and hoped it would get better.  I just needed to reach the horizon, or turn the next corner to see the light, but that has never happened … yet!!
My children mean the world to me, they have the dreams and are beginning to get on with their lives. I`m proud of them all.
However, where does that leave me?  How can I move on and follow my dreams?  I know where I would like to be, but I have to put my family first.  I have put my dreams on hold for the last 13 years.   I`m getting older and tired, my health is not as good as it was and I would love to follow my dreams while I still can.   Maybe one day I will.... who knows.
The thing is … we must never give up. Things have a way of sorting themselves out in ways that we would never see or understand at the time.   Hindsight is a wonderful thing!!
Always keep those dreams in your heart and keep them alive and "you shall go to the ball"
I know I will get to have my dream,  just not at the moment.

Always believe and you`re half way there ❤